Wednesday, December 06, 2006

O. J. Cheney and Bush Did It

Already, America's excusers-of-the-inexcusable have begun to tell us that if the little Clinton condom doesn't fit Big Dick Cheney and his Dwarvish Dork Dubya, then we surely must acquit O. J. Cheney and Bush because trying them for historic crimes against America and the world would just take up so much "valuable time" that the Congress needs to expend on "important" stuff like flag-burning amendments, queer weddings, denying safe abortions to frightened pregnant girls, and idly speculating about which binary, take-it-or-take-it Hobson's "choice" the American people will have presented to them two years from now in November of 2008.

We find ourselves mired in IraqNam with the "Worst and the Dullest" PRECISELY because we didn't hang the "Best and the Brightest" who did this very same inexcusably stupid thing forty years ago. And if we don't tar-and-feather this benighted bunch now, when we have real reasons better than anyone ever had before, then we will only get "even worse" (like the Iraqis always get) later on. Take it from the "conservatives." They will tell you every time that punishment "deters" future crime -- usually by the same criminals.

If the Congess will just start working FIVE DAYS A WEEK (or SIX, like so many other struggling Americans) they will have all the time they need to wrap up an open-and-shut case against two outlaws so arrogant that they've already publicly -- not to say proudly -- confessed to their crimes and promised even more to come. Even O. J. Simpson waited until years after his acquittal to actually -- sort of -- admit what he "might have" done "if" he had actually done it. Cheney and Bush did it. No question. Case open. Case closed.

Our lazy and corrupt Congress has nothing of any value to do anyway except three simple things: (1) cut off funding for the occupation of Iraq; (2) revoke the stupid "authorization" for the occupation of Iraq; and (3) punish the perpetrators of the occupation of Iraq. Congress has nothing BETTER to do with its (meaning, "our") time than the "Watergate" Congress or the "Iran-Contra" Congress did. As a matter of fact, we only HAVE a Congress -- for precisely "checks and balances" reasons -- so that they (in accordance with the plans of our founders) will jealously pursue implacable vendettas against the other branches of government which ever seek to steal their power from them -- by design and with all the native human viciousness that history has ever recorded.

Some people have never learned this lesson in elementary civics, but as James Madison put it: After giving devilish men the power to govern other men, the great trick lies in constructing a government so divided against itself that the normal human devils will counteract and neutralize each other, rendering government too paralyzed to plunder the people of their liberties. In other words, none of our founders ever envisioned a government of angels, as Madison said, because angels wouldn't need a government. Men and women, though, need a little of it, but not too much. Therefore, send not to know whom the "centrist" Democrats work "with," but rather whose asses they soundly kick and whom they resolutely and tirelessly fight "against." Anything left standing after the fraternal fight will, by default and exhaustion "get done."

Someday, if all goes well for justice, America, and the world, O. J. Cheney and Bush may hire a ghostwriter to help them publish an unauthorized autobiographical apology pleading for mercy and understanding, entitled: "If only we hadn't done it." Too bad for everyone concerned, but they did.


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