Friday, December 01, 2006

9,000 UnDrafted Saudi Princes Talk Tough!

I understand that the Saudi Royal Family (all 9,000 of the pampered princes) just summoned Sheriff Dick Cheney to heel. Apparently they informed him in pure Bre'r Rabbit Chutzpah that if his five-deferment self, his AWOL Deputy Dubya, his shot-down-and-jailed Mad Dog McCain, and his Step-and-Fetchit Charles Rangel didn't draft more young Americans to fight and die for the un-drafted Saudi Royal family, well, then those 9,000 Saudi Princes would just get off their cushy couches, stop importing Vietnamese and Sri Lankans to do all their dirty work, and go right after those Shiite "terrorists" in next-door Iraq. Really!

Yes, Sir. Those never-yet-spotted-on-any-battlefield "royal" knife-fighters really will -- honest injun! -- leap fearlessly into that terrible briar patch in Iraq unless Sheriff Dick and his very own empty-suit propaganda-catapulter Dubya save them from their mad, impetuous selves and embrace the Tar Baby even more tightly in their stead.

Too bad for young Americans with better things to do with their lives that this sort of emotional blackmail shit ALWAYS works with easily buffaloed American proletarian-princes who only lust after the trappings of royalty but can never somehow shake off their basically subservient serfdom.

Personally, I think I've about come to the conclusion that I favor the Shiites in Saudi Arabia. Perhaps instead of helping the corrupt Saudi Royal Family oppress them, we Americans could just assist the Shiites (after all, we do love religious fundamentalism in America) in bringing a little of that "democracy" crap of ours to Saudi Arabia. Yeah. Let's try setting some "royal" Saudi minds on fire! As Judy Tenuda would say: "It could happen!"

I just want Mad Dog McCain and that motherless cretin Charles Rangel to leave free, young and hopeful Americans out of it. This used-and-abused Vietnam Veteran says that Charles Rangel can just go fuck himself, and the military-industrial porkbarrel pig he rode in on. As just another brick in the wall, his like have already had enough from old geezers like me. Now they can just leave those kids alone!

Finally, with all due apologies to Country Joe and the Fish, we could use a little update to that old song of theirs. Perhaps we could call it "The Feel Like I'm Fixin' to Strangle Rangel Rag." It's rude refrain:

"Well, it's one, two, three, what are we fightin' for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
Next stop is Iraq-Nam.
Well, it's five, six, seven, open up old Allah's gates
Ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopeeee! We're all gonna die!"

(for Saudi Princes)

Whoopee! We're all gonna die!"


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